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The final installment of Hell Week has commenced... Here is my second of six entries to round things out... May the Idol gods be kind and generous.





We all have those people who’ve inspired us in our lives. Sometimes they pass through but leave a very lasting impression, an indelible mark. They give us something to aim for and something to aspire to. Sometimes we don’t even know the person, but who they are, how they conduct themselves, the obstacles they’ve managed to overcome are so profound and amazing that even from afar, we can’t help but be awed and moved by them. And still others are always around, kicking you in the ass daily, poking and prodding you to want more to reach for the stars and to be better than you knew you were even capable of being.

You my dear Idolers, are all of those things and more to me.

It sounds horribly cheesy and trite, I know. But that doesn’t make it any less true.

When I first signed up for Idol many moons ago, I had zero idea what to expect. I figured it would be reading and writing sure but I didn’t expect to be absolutely bowled over like I have been. The community of people who make Idol what it is. Almost daily, I’m overwhelmed by the kindness, the generosity and the love of the people who inhabit the Idolverse.

And you all couldn’t have come along at a better time in my life. At a time when everything I’d worked toward had fallen apart and I was left standing in the smoldering ruins of my life, I plunged headfirst into the world of Idol. It allowed me to connect with people and re-connect with a passion I’ve had since I was young but one that had been dormant for many, many, many years… my passion for writing.

My first season, I wrote a lot of non-fiction pieces and had just begun dipping my toes into the cool waters of fiction again. And it felt good. It felt better than good. It was like something had been woken up inside of me and suddenly, it was a thirst that couldn’t be quenched. I wanted to write and keep writing. When I was working and not writing, I wanted to go home and write some more.

When my second season (Season 7 if you’re scoring at home) rolled around, I devoted more and more of my entries to my fiction. And people seemed to be responding to it. It was a high more powerful than ten tons of crack. I started thinking about my writing in different ways, trying to learn more, grow more, evolve as a writer and get better.

Now, in my third full season, I’m pretty comfortably entrenched in my fiction… mostly creepy fiction though I try to dabble in other waters now and again. And I’m loving every minute that I get to sit down and create. I am learning more and getting great feedback from people that is helping me grow in even more directions than I ever thought possible.

And because of Idol, not only have I rediscovered that spark, that thing that really gets me going and lets me lose myself in the creative process, I’m finding that doors I’d never considered before are opening. Opportunities that I’d always dreamed of but never imagined could come to fruition have been presenting themselves to me.

It’s shocking, overwhelming and completely humbling but it is SUCH a great feeling too. The idea that I could possibly make a go at a career in writing and having the opportunities out there to do so… it’s astounding to me. Utterly astounding.

It’s because of you folks that inhabit the Idolverse that this is even a remote possibility for me. You guys show up every week to read my scribblings and give me such support and encouragement as well as feedback that is invaluable… it’s because of you guys that I have even the smallest shred of confidence that what I write down could be enjoyable to others, that my stories might be worth reading.

It’s because of you guys and the support, encouragement and confidence that you are giving me that I’m finding that I’m more willing to put myself out there and roll the dice than I ever have been before in my life.

And from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you all for that. That is a kindness that I will never be able to repay other than to say thank you. If it weren’t for Idol, if it weren’t for you, I may have walked by this path and never gave it a second glance. But now that I’m on it, I plan on charging forward full speed ahead.

Though I know and will always remember that none of this would be possible if not for you guys.

When I began this journey, I didn’t expect Idol to take over my life like it has. And I sure as hell didn’t expect to become so involved with such an amazing group of people who continue to inspire me every single day. But you have. You do. So I thank you so very much for that.
I want to give special shout-outs to everybody who has deeply touched my life through this crazy, crazy game but I would undoubtedly leave people off that I hadn’t intended to. But I hope that you all know that you have. But there are three who I want to single out because what they’ve done for me is just amazing… first of all to [livejournal.com profile] clauderainsrm who created this wonderful space and started this whole ball rolling. Thank you, Gary. To [livejournal.com profile] porn_this_way, Klingon warrior extraordinaire… her friendship and laughter keeps me sane… or as close to it as I can get. Also to my absolutely amazing friend [livejournal.com profile] theafaye who is taking a big chance on me and has helped shift my thinking and focus, who is helping me to believe in myself… that is a debt that can never be repaid. And of course, to my wonderful and amazing [livejournal.com profile] pixie117 who loves me through the good and the bad, who encourages me, gives me strength and courage when I have none, who believes in me when I don’t believe in myself and who kicks my ass when I need it. I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

And thank YOU all out there reading this. From the bottom of my heart and a million times over, thank you. I don’t know what the future in this game holds, whether I'll make it through the week or what... but no matter what, I really do feel like I’ve already won.

And with that, I would like to dedicate this to all of you crazy denizens of the Idolverse…








This has been my entry for [livejournal.com profile] therealljidol Season 8, Topic 36C(B): Dedication. As always, thank you so much for your continued support. I have no clue what sort of madness to expect but it should be interesting. Thank you, guys. You keeping me in this game means the world to me!
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java_fiend

October 2012

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